still slipping

I am still slipping and it worries me. I have extreme guilt. The guilt is huge. I am weak and deeply troubled.

I was hoping that going back to church will help. I know it will take time. I keep stumbling. How am I ever gonna break this addiction? I stopped for 4 days and have acted it out since. I hate this. It gives me the guilt.

I need to find other things to do. Is it possible to control? I think it is. Its just that I have a hard time with this. SEE? Now I'm making excuses.

Its Sunday and I plan on going to church. I will sit alone and talk to very few. They are good people and I am not.

I need help. I now not where to go for it or to whom. I am alone and it eats at me.

Dave